quintessential

I spoke to my grandmother yesterday. We hardly ever have conversations nowadays, so yesterday was really quite interesting.

We spoke mostly about family, and more precisely, about my grandfather.

It's been 3 years since his death and yet sometimes, when I catch myself thinking the most random thoughts, he always drifts into my mind. I catch myself thinking about him and keep replaying that last Thursday I saw him alive. Morbid, I know, but these are thoughts I can't help. They drift in and out my mind like a mist, momentarily paralyzing all other thoughts that run through my mind.

So much has happened in the span of 3 years and I sometimes ask God why he couldn't have left him on Earth just a bit longer to at least experience the immense joy of these events. Everything happens for a reason, i suppose.

You know, the one thing I have never been able to fathom is how we always cry at funerals. Here's me being a tad bit cynical, but sometimes, all that crying really seems quite excessive and unneecassary. I mean why do we cry? Sure the deceseased was someone dearly loved by all and will sorely be missed since now, all that remains of this person are memories. I can understand that we cry because the person is no longer a physical manifestation of his soul, and as such nothing solid remains of him.

But we must draw the line somewhere, no? At my Grandfathers funeral, all the crying from my relatives, seemed at times, to be a bit forced or, to put it more appropriately, cued. When they arrived at his house, everyone was wailing. All that wailing stopped when food was served ( I guess all that crying must have given them ferocious appetites and ,more energy) because they continued their performance right after eating. Then when his body was being put into the casket van and his final rights were being performed the soft sobs suddenly became * cue crying sequence*, ear-piercing wails, and everyone ( I kid you not) appeared to be as if in a trance.

Relatives who before never liked my grandfather or who hardly ever knew him were all suddenly talking about him as if he were a great sage. I found,and still find this very very hypocritical.I remember this one relative, my dad's cousin, who never really got along with my grandfather and who my grandfather quite disliked.She is this short looking runt of an object (you can tell, that I myself am not very fond of her) who was extremely disrespectful during the funeral.

Disrespectful not in a," I don't give a shit about this man" kind of way but rather in a "Let me show myself as someone who uncle Rajoo doted on a lot" kind of way. She was so fake and insincere that I'm sure my grandfather must have turned in his grave. I remember when she first came into the house. She was dressed all in white and almost lunged at my grandmother like some crazed lunatic, trying to give her a hug ( and the Oscar goes to..).then when the final rights were going to be performed, and the priest asked for only his grandchildren to come forward to pay their last respects, that Object pushed her daughter forward to take part in the ritual,and mind you, her daughter is my grandfathers grandNIECE. Thank god the priest gave her a good piece of his mind.

Then when everyone was on their way to the crematorium, the Fatso literally yanked my grandmother into her car so she could be the one to drive my grandmother there. And when my grandfathers coffin was being rolled out into the furnace, suprise suprise, Miss Best Actress decided to put up a final, Vasantham Central worthy, performance.

I abhore people like that. I mean if you didn't like the deceseased, it's fine.It's only human to have such emotions.But at least have the courage to stand by what you feel.

It's the same blinking concept for living persons too.

Hais..the more i think about all this, the more frustrated i feel. I shoudn't be feelng like this.damn.


...till next time fellas...catch you on the flipside..=)