quintessential

Hello there everybody...well it's finally update time!..haha ok so...

1) schools finally out!..thank fucking god..it's about time..i swear i think if it had gone on any longer i'd just have shot myself..so hopefully all that studying for the exmas will pay of..*closes eyes and prays*..hais..i really don't know..it feels as if it can go either way..i just hope i don't have to sit for a sup..i reallyy really hope i don't..and seeing as how schools ended and i will be changing classes next sem what better time than now to pay tribute to my classmates..so to all of 1l04,it's been a good year, what with our up's and down's but hey..who gives right?..i mean we've made it through our first year in poly and that's all that matters :)...now i can't wait to see who's gna be in my class next sem..and that will help me decide if i'm gna be excited to start school at all...i just hope i get nice,fun ppl and not paranoid,over-competittive werido's..

2) insecurity..that about sums up alot of what i'm feeling right now...it's extremely stupid i know..i've never felt this way about myself EVER...never ever..and it's pretty scary..i mean i just tell myself that i'm thinking this way cause of a certain turn of recent events..and i know it's probably cause of that..but then i can't help but think..all this while i've always thought of myself as confident and yet when something fucking stupid and dumb like this comes along,i get a bit paranoid and o yes..very fucking insecure..i mean 3 years ago if anyone had told me that this would be me now,i'd have laughed my ass off in disbelief..i really never imgined myself becoming this way..i mean what happened to the priya who was funny? who was in your face?.who didn't care what ppl thought?..ok i still don't care what most people think...just some..and no i'm not that funny anymore i'm bloody anal...and n0 i actually care what other ppl feel now...fuck man i swear..honestly...why have i become like this?????..god i really don't know how i got myself into this shithole..okok i mean i know how i got myself in..hapened about 3 years ago...ques is how do i get myself out?..looks like palts has to go on a journey of self-discovery..2 years ago(2004) i got the lead in my school's 150th anniversary play..i played a woman, Elizabeth who was confused about the choices she had made etcetc..now i'm a firm believer of "everything happens for a reason"..and i knew the moment i got that role that there was a reason for it all happening this way..i just didn't know what ...because the role was freakily similar to the situation i'm in now...very similar...and i think i know what the reason for my getting that role is now:to help me better understand this phase im going through.talk about god working in mysterious ways...hahaa

3) lastly..well the hols have arrived!..yay!!..so time to stick to my plan of doing jackshit all day..it's about time i start working...buttt.......i nvr have so i'd like to keep it that way...ok well gtg now..drama tomorrow!...yay..haha smth bout this that gets me excited..

so till next time fellas...catch you on the flipside=)