quintessential

Hello there everybody.It's the 31st of dec 2005!.the last day of the year.wow.This year has gone by so fast i swear.iT feels like the year just started a few months ago..and now before i know it,its ended,just like tt.I dunno,this year was a very different year..it started differently and it's def gna end differently.I just hope next year starts and ends well.I pray with all my heart that it does.

2005 started with me being a bum for like 6 mths before moving on to a new phase in my life,educationally.No more the sheltered protection i had in IJ,no more the teachers who went through great pains to ensure your well being,no more seeing my close friends everyday and sharing the stupid jokes and doing the stupid things we did.no more.It was all abt making new friends,getting setteled in a new environment-that doesn't really very much for looking into every pupil specially.it's every man for himself..but i guess this is cool too..makes us all more independent.

2005,and i found myself single.It was painful but yes,shit happens and the sooner i learn that the better.haha its funny now when i look back on the two years we shared,it was really a great 2 years you know.Haiss..i dunno.i mean i've really tried everything i can to salvage it but it takes two hands to clap.so lets just hope 2006 will be much better..and i secretly hope and pray tt you'll have a change of heart and see some hope in us Kathi.


what else happened in 2005?..Oh yes.My grandfather passed away..well i guess everyone's trying to come to terms with it..they somehow seem to still be in shock.My dad especially.i think he's in denial.but whatever..thankfully i didn't have very much to do with my dad this year.
wow..haha actually come to think of it,this year has been pretty boring..i guess its just feels like its been a bad year cause of how its ended.

But every ending always gives rise to a new beginning.So hopefully 2006 will be better..much better..I'm looking forward to what 2006 has in stall for me..it feels like i'm getting ready for an adventure..and its all going to start in abt 4hrs.hehe..i'm excited..kk but before i go,i'm gna write a list of movies i've seen this year...


Movies i've seen in 2005 (in no particualr order).

1) Shall We Dance?
2) Hitch
3) Fantastic 4
4) Mr and Mrs Smith
5) War of the worlds
6) Red Eye
7) Flight Plan
8) The Exorcism of Emily Rose
9) The Legend of Zorro
10) Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
11) King Kong
12) The Longest Yard
13) Just Like Heaven

...so till next time fellas..catch you on the flipside=)

Helle there my fair counterparts!..so its the 24th of december..x'mas eve.!!..but strangely i'm not in the chirstmas mood..nope.not onebit.I hate this feeling.Maybe its because i'm not gna have a proper x'mas holiday.or maybe its cause of the ppl i'm spending it with.i really don't know..

HAPPY BIRYHDAY TANYA

Your whole birthday was great..the food..and the seesha..and the drinks..nice..evrything..and i so swear he likes you tanya...STOP LIVING IN DENIAL..or i'l throw u outta the cab the next time.i swear. But who's this guy i'm talking about?..well its this guy from Orange County who so obvioulsy likes tanya..but tanya being the *insert whatever pharse you want here* is just taking thigs cooly...hiyoh..!!..

went out with clare and steph yesterday..KIngKOng was soooooo good..i mean to tell you the truth,i had my doubts about watching the show..i mean i didn't want to see a huge ape fighting with a dinasour..(tt was obviously already extinct..)..but nope!..it was really really good man.it kept me at the edge of my seat..then after the show me and steph were supopsed to go to town but i went instead cause steph was just weriding out..went to find gifts..but ended up shopping for myself..hehe..Then i remembered that JO.G was down frm aussie land..so gave her a call and coincidently she was heading to town with her cussin sondra who's bloody cool..haha veryveryvery different from JOG..So we snuck into the graden placee at lido and took pictures of the happenings below..it was an AWESOME view..then we had scotch and wine..and i was high..but tt feeling of being high when your high up on smth and looking down at the cars and lights is amazing.it was such a light floatish feeling..

i got home and it wasn't so nice.i called you to tell you i had gotten u a very expensive present.but u were unappriciative abt it as usual.so i threw it away.Yesterday's events thought me a lesson..actually 2 lessons but with the same morals-that somehow no matter what good you do..however subtle it is..it'll always go unappriciated..So i know better now..


"You Have My Attention"-Copeland

Quiet now, your voice seems miles away
Yet somehow, I hear your song resound
A little bit softer each day
And from my tired heart, a little bit farther away

I’ll sing along
The whole day through
Just do your best to hear me
It’s all you can do

You have my attention
Like you’ve had all the while
Since that first day when you made my heart smile
With loving eyes and tired sighs that flow
You have my attention
Like a shout through an empty sanctuary
Speak but a whisper

I’ll hear a sermon
I’ll sing along, the whole day through
Just do your best to hear me
It’s all you can do
I’ll sing along, the whole night through
While you sleep safely
I’ll be thinking about you

You have my attention

..till next time fellas..catch you on the flipside=)

Hey there evrybody..todaY was pretty ok lah.The day went relatively well save for one part-peer appraisal.I mean nth to do with the grades i got but the things tt were said by a certain someone in my grp.I'm actually hurt by what he said.I mean the words you used "manipulate","INfluence"..i don't even know what to say lah. I mean do u even realise the depth of what u have said?..those are very strong words you know..i mean it'll help if you cld at least think before you speak.But i guess it's partly my fault too.I should've just kept my comments to myself..and tried to be more open with you.I just hope tt i can put this whole thing behind me and work with you on PBL 2.

After peer appraisel i went for drama..tt was fun.I look forward to fridays mostly cause of drama..ithelps take my mind of things..alot!..and the ppl are such a breath of fresh air..thank god!..The crapiness,funniess,lameness,serousness all mixed together is what i love bout dramatec :).

On a lighter note,tomorrow's shopping day,cut hair day!..yay!...hopefully my haircut will be nice..and i won't fall asleep.


"Afterglow"-INXS

Here I am,
lost in the light of the moon that comes through my window
Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses
It's you and the roses

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

Here I am,
lost in the ashes of time, but who wants tomorrow?
In between the longing to hold you again
I'm caught in your shadow,
I'm losing control
My mind drifts away, we only have today

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way
I will sacrifice 'til the blinding day when I see your eyes
Now I'm living in your afterglow

When the faith has gone as I let you go, as I let you go

Touch me and I will follow in your afterglow
Heal me from all this sorrow
As I let you go I will find my way, I will sacrifice
Now I'm living in your afterglow

Bathed in blue, the walls of my memory divide the thorns from the roses
It's you who is closest

Till next time fellas..catch you on the flipside=)

It amazing how smth so small can lead into smth bigger and more crude..talk about sparks that light the fire..hais..well that was exactly what happened today..a small innocent requet was turned into smth completely out of point,that obviouly watsed my presious study time.You,my dear reader might be wondering "What Happened?"..well it started innocently enough..i wanted to do a favour for steph as the 2 of us were not going for lecture..so i msged..*he who sld not be named* and told him to take attendance for steph..and little did i know that that wld trigger a whole chain of msges that HAD NTH TO DO WITH MY VERY RESON FOR MSGING..

so i got called names..backstabber and what not..but guess what?..it takes 2 hands to clap..and you sure as hell speak for yourself when you call me backstabber..haha the moment you said that i had to control myself from laughing at your stupidity..and just a suggestion..if you can't communicate in proper english don't communicate..just shut up..it'll save us all the pain..

O and another thing..try and act your age k?..cause just in case you forgot,your're in a tertiary institute now..so stop this primary school mentality of just cause " i don't friend you,nobody else should".its pathetic.This is between the 2 of us..stop getting everyone else involved by getting angry at them just cause they hang around me..cause you might think its ok..but it's not..it stupid and immature..and if you continue with tt attitude,everyone around you will be within a 15 m radius from you..and just in case you don't get what that means,THEY'LL START AVOIDING YOU...and i'm sure you wldn't want tt wld you?

I just want to see for how long the new ppl u hang around with will be willling to tolerate your bullshit..me and steph have taken a bet..cause they might think it's cute now..we all did..but not anymore..now your just like a kitten who won;t ever grow up..

but either than tt..today went by pretty ok..it was cool..i think in alot of ways i'm happy we got put into diff project groups..i'm getting to know my classmates aot better..cool..till next time fellas..catch you on the flipside=)


"Pretty Vegas"

Falling asleep at the wheel again baby
You're drifting over the line (the line) yeah
Your hands are tight but you're losing grip quickly
Fix me, can you read the signs?

Thumbing your way to Vegas, dirty
And dreaming of the other side
Save your tears and laughter
Because it doesn't matter what you find

It ain't pretty
After the show
It ain't pretty when the pretty leaves you
With no place to go
If you think you need it
Here's the place to feed it
But it ain't pretty

With everything that you do is wrong
And you fell like you can barely survive yeah
When those around you are crumbling downwards
Buried in the sunset alive

Thumbing your way to Vegas, dirty
And screaming like you're back from hell
Save your dreams and occupations
Cos' it doesn't matter what you sell

It ain't pretty
After the show
It ain't pretty when the pretty leaves you
With no place to go
If you think you want it
Here's the place to get it

The party's over and the road is long
The party's over and we're moving on
The party's over and the road is long
So if you think you want it
Then just come out and say it
It aint pretty

Falling asleep at the wheel again baby
You're drifting over the line (the line)
You're hands are tight but you're losing grip quickly
Fix me, can you read the signs

Thumbing your way to Vegas, dirty
And dreaming like you're outta control
Save your tears and laughter
Because this is the ride
And this is the show

It ain't pretty
After the show
It ain't pretty when the pretty leaves you
With no place to go
So if you think you want it
Just come in and get it
It ain't pretty

Hello there everybody!..well lets see the past few days have been alright..had a parliment visit on friday which was quite fun.We had the usual 10min footage then a tour of parliment house and then...we got to role play with some other random law foggies..now that was funfunfun!..i mean initially lah..then it got boring and out of point..it was some environmental bill.and i was the minister of environment..quite honestly,it was a stupid bill.period.so after the visit went back to school for drama got hm did my usual routine and slept.

Yesterday was quite fun lah.had a dinner for my grandfather..all my relatives were there and tt made it ALOT more fun..we were just talking,drinking..and waiting for the food..and when it finally came we decended on it like a bunch of vultures..but the food was good nontheless..then we were making plans for x'mas..its gna be one veryvery busy wisy x'mas man..but fun..veryvery fun..just another 13 days..whoa..this year has gone by sososo fast..but its ended like shit nontheless..i guess my not wanting to spend x'mas alone but with someone special has gone to the pitts.So i'll be spending it with my family and friends..after they are all that matter..family and friends...

So i just hope next year will start and end well..this year is gna end in a very weird way for me..in a very lonely sort of weird way..if that makes any sense..

Heavily Broken-The Veronicas

Everyday I sit here waiting
Everyday just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care, it's so unfair
Any day it'll all be over
Any day there's nothing new
And now I just try to find some hope
To try and hold onto
And it starts again
It'll never end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
It just seems like I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do

Almost giving up on trying
Almost heading for a fall
And now I'm screaming
I've gotta keep on fighting
But then again It doesn't end

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
just seems like I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do?

I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do
And there's nothing I can do
Feels like I'm drowning
I'm screaming for air (Screaming for air)
Louder I'm crying
And you don't even care

I'm heavily
And I don't know what to do
Could you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move (What can I do)
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken

I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken

Till nexttime fellas..catch you on the flipside=)

So it's the 5th of December 2005..exactly a month and 3 days from when i last updated.And what has happened in that one month and 3 days?..well 3 main things. 1) i stared school on the 7th of nov,and it feels like i only stared the new term yestreday..school is moving so fast its not even funny anymore..i mean i'm really above and beyond taking things slow..poly life is FAST...its like i'm on a train travelling at 100000000km/h..and i've got no time to eat,comb my hair,take a breather even!..and since we're on the subect,my 2nd main thing,i would say,highlight,wld be

2) The one friend i thought i could actually count on and turn to and lean on,now refuses to be friends with me over smth i by the way have no clue of or had no clue of until he finally decides to give me the cold sholder and instaed of having half the fucking balls i THOUGHT he had to tell me how he felt,he just out of the blue decides to ignore me and give his fucking pissy attitude despite my numeruos attempts at TRYING to find out what was bothering hi.God Ryan,the least u cld've done was tell me what u were feeling instead of fucking handling things the way u did..i mean u wld think that after almost a year of freidnship and what not u wld at least have the decency to tell me to my face what was worng instead of having a third party speak your god damn mind for u.And you know what the best part is?..i was actually gonna swollow my pride which by the way is smth i hardly ever do,and apologise to you..but ope...not after tt disgusting attitude u gave me over the phone the other day..and when u were told tt i was actually gna apologise the only words tt managed to slip tt purile mind of yours was "oops"..wow..how much this friendship must mean to you.Bravo!..and you want to stratergise and TRY and be bitchy to me?..god ryan..we might have been closebut you have no fricking idea what your getting yourself into..its not beyond me to make your life a living hell because believe you me i've done it before and i'll do it again.don't make me.and you wanna know another thing that amazes me?..how you can at one moment bitch about steph and now at like her best friend maybe cause she's the only one who's willing to tolerate your immature childsih bullshit..whoa..u sld join survivor ryan..you'd come in tops..But you know what?..fuck it..i've tried apologising..tired talking but you still insist on giving me your god damn crap...so be it..i'm not gna stoop so low as to beg for your friendship,smth tells me it won't be worth it..So i'm just gna stop mentioning you and your name and stop involvong myself with anything to do with you..and soon..like its happened before to other specific people,i'm just gna forget abt you,and anything that 's associated with you..and before i know it,we'll be strangers..like two ppl who've never met before..but do know whne i see you or remember you ,i won't think about how much i'm pissed at you or how much i hate you.cause i dont..and i'm not pissed at you either..just utterly dissapointed..but i'll remember the times we talked.went out..specially the last time we went out.just the two of us..i'll nvr forget that cause i know i didn't say it earlier,but it was for me too the best outing i've had this year..like you said it wasn't what we did it was who we did it with..and it was great.i'll remember...after all memories are just for reminicsing isn't it?..and then i'll ask myself,say 2 years from now what happened?..and i guess then i'll have a clearer picture and a better explanation..cause i did love you like a brother but i guess everything happens for a reason..we might not see it now..but we will soon..and till that time comes all we'll have of this friendship is memories.


ok..after that very long highlight,my 3rd would be 3) the demise of my granfather on the 24th of nov..he was 73 and he passed away in his sleep,peacfully..i'll never forget the morning i found out he passed away.i'll nvr forget my dads voice when i was the first person he told..i'll nvr forget my reaction..nth..i'll nvr forget that day or the subsequent days..ever..i guess cause this is the closest person i've had pass away.But i thank god for my family and all my relatives who were so supportive and always there.it really made this whole expereice so much more bearable.i'll nver forget the cremation day itself..the eulogy my dad gave,the poem he read..nth..i'll nver forget anythng from that day.I'll remmebr everything..right down to what suit he was wearing in his coffin..to the way he looked..every minute detail..the emotions i saw,felt,expereiced..the empty words of a certain someone..all that i will take away with me..and lastly..that we are mere mortals and that when death wishes,it will take everything away in a blink of an eye..and the only way we can prepare oursleves for smt like tt is to love and be loved and chersh every moment spent with anyone..cause you'll nvr know when death will take them away.." priya eh,why don't you come and eat?"..the last words my granfather told me..smth i definatley will nvr forget. i'll leave you all woth the poem my father read the day of the cremation.

" O Captain"


O CAPTAIN! my Captain! our fearful trip is done;
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won;
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring:
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.


O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills;
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths--for you the shores a-crowding;
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head;
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.



My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still;
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will;
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done;
From fearful trip, the victor ship, comes in with object won;
Exult, O shores, and ring, O bells!
But I, with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

Till next time fellas..catch you on the flipside=)